Breaking promises to myself...

I said I wouldn't be jealous, but I can't help it...
I said I wouldn't fall in love, but I've already fallen...
I said I wouldn't talk to her, unless she talked to me...
but as you can see, I just keep breaking promises to myself...

I said I wouldn't use a friend, but I already have...
I said I don't like to hurt, but hurting helps the stubborn...
I said I only want to begin, but I have ended it before it started...
only deception, lies, misdirected sorrow and confusion...

I promised myself that I wouldn't do it again, but here I am...
between the sword and the wall...
counting wounds and pretty faces, all of them hurt to look at or touch...

I said I wouldn't let it escalate, but my head is in the clouds...
I said I would take care of it, but I've left it alone...
I said too many things, too many to remember...
and promises of promises are usually broken...